There comes a point in many careers where “something has to change” — but it’s not obvious whether that means a new job, a new company, a new industry, or a new way of working where you already are.
You’re too smart to make a reckless move. You’re also too honest to keep pretending this is fine.
When clients come to me at this stage, we don’t start with, “Should I quit?” We start with a clearer set of options: stay, leave, or redesign.
Option 1: Stay (on purpose, not by default)
Staying doesn’t have to mean settling. Sometimes the best move is to stabilize where you are while you work on other parts of your life: health, family, finances, or a long-term pivot.
Staying on purpose looks like:
- Having a clear time horizon (for example, “I’m here intentionally for the next 12 months”).
- Setting boundaries to make the role sustainable.
- Using the time to build skills, savings, or relationships that support your next move.
If you decide to stay, decide like a leader — not like someone who got stuck.
Option 2: Leave (when the cost is too high)
Sometimes, the healthiest choice is to go. The culture is misaligned, the values clash, or the expectations are incompatible with your wellbeing.
Signs it might be time to leave:
- You’ve given clear feedback multiple times and nothing changes.
- Your nervous system never truly powers down, even on weekends or vacations.
- You can’t imagine a version of this role that would feel sustainable without a total overhaul.
Leaving doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re choosing not to abandon yourself.
Option 3: Redesign (the middle path most people miss)
Between “stay as is” and “leave completely” sits a third option: redesigning your current role so it fits you better.
Redesign might look like:
- Shifting your mix of responsibilities toward the work you do best.
- Clarifying scope or decision rights that have been fuzzy.
- Restructuring your team so you’re not holding everything yourself.
Many organizations are more flexible than they appear — especially for trusted, high-performing leaders. They just don’t proactively offer redesigns. You have to initiate the conversation.
A simple framework to choose your path
Grab a sheet of paper and make three columns: Stay, Leave, Redesign. For each one, answer three questions:
- What would this option give me? (Energy, money, time, growth, stability.)
- What would it cost me? (Finances, health, relationships, reputation, joy.)
- What would I need in place to feel confident choosing it?
You’re not committing yet. You’re getting the options out of your head and onto paper, where they’re much easier to evaluate.
Don’t make this decision alone in your head
The women I work with are more than capable of thinking strategically. Their challenge isn’t intelligence. It’s perspective.
When you’re in the thick of it, everything feels high-stakes and personal. Having a neutral thinking partner helps you separate fear from data, urgency from importance, loyalty from self-abandonment.
Whether you ultimately stay, leave, or redesign, the real win is making a choice you can stand behind — one that honors both your ambition and your humanity.
You deserve a career that doesn’t require you to disappear in order to succeed.
